Wednesday, April 30, 2014

A Day in the Life

This isn't one of those regular day-in-the-life posts where I post what I do as it is happening or after the fact. I have had some questions about what I do with my time, especially since I work from home and have a plethora of teens and young adults at home, and I thought I'd share my basic schedule.

Typically, days on which Diana goes to work at the daycare center look very similar. Here is my schedule with a few interjections about the kids. They all have their own complicated schedules so I won't tell everything that they do, only the things that I regularly notice or am part of.

6:15 - I get up at 6:15. Sometimes I awake earlier, at around 5:45, but I usually lounge in bed until 6:15. Then, I get up and start getting things ready for Diana to go to work. I pull her lunch and tea out of the fridge, start the coffee pot and make sure the path to the bathroom is clear.

6:30 - At 6:30, I wake Diana and move her along into the shower. (She is not a morning person.) While she showers, I pack her bag and make her a cup of hot tea or coffee.

6:45 - Next, I chat with Diana while she gets ready for the day. In the winter, I clear off the car and scrape ice if necessary. Sometimes, I need to shovel. On bad days, I wake up Toni to help!

7:15 - I kiss Diana good-bye and start on my own morning routine. I shower, put on lotion, get dressed and do my hair.

7:45 - I make myself a cup of coffee and some breakfast. Usually I have yogurt or oatmeal or a breakfast bar. Once in awhile, I make eggs. Then I sit and eat at my computer. I run quickly through my email, take a glance at Facebook and spend a few moments visiting some other sites. This is a real quick process to me because I don't like to spend a lot of time on any of that.

8:30 - At 8:30, I start the laundry and from then on this entire schedule should be punctuated with times when I am dealing with laundry. On good days, I hang my laundry outside, which takes awhile. On bad weather days, I hang it inside. I won't bore you with adding laundry remarks much after this point. After laundry, I take care of any necessary early dinner prep like thawing things or putting things in the crockpot. Sometimes I start a loaf of bread. Then I wash my breakfast dishes. Josie is up by this time, and we chat a little bit. If the kitchen is messy in any way, I clean it. (The kids sometimes use the kitchen at night.)

9:00 - I am back at my computer. I might send a quick email to Diana or otherwise message her even though she won't get it 'til later. I find things like that keep us connected and help me retain my sanity. Sometimes I message with Joseph for a few moments. Then I get to work writing. I write straight through until around 10:30 when I start feeling zombie-ish and sore.

10:30 - At 10:30, Toni has been up for about an hour, and while I walk around stretching my creaky muscles, I chat with him. I also get myself a snack and a second cup of coffee. I like to have nuts. I try to sit in the chair by the window while I eat my snack or outside if the weather is nice. (Yes, laundry is dealt with during this time too!)

11:00 - Back to work! I write more at my computer until 1:00. This is probably my most productive work period of the day. By 1:00, I am very hungry!

1:00 - Josie turns on The Chew, and I get myself some lunch while chatting with Esme and Lia. I have leftovers or deli meat rolled around greens or a sandwich. I like to drink diet soda with my lunch. I consider diet soda an integral part of my diet. OK, not really, but in my case, it does help me feel full and eat right. I take a long lunch and enjoy my kids' company.

2:00 - I take a very brief 10 minutes walk, and then I wash dishes and tidy the kitchen again very quickly!

2:15 - Back to work! Lots more writing to do. Right now I do about 20 pieces a day.

3:30 - Time to stretch and snack again. I also do my daily housework. I clean one specific area each day. If I miss it, it might have to wait until the next week so I take it fairly seriously. I also have the kids help with chores at this time.

4:00 - Yet more work. Josie does her math now, and there is often swearing involved. I write, taking time off to help her when necessary!

5:00 - YAY! Diana is usually pulling in the driveway after work unless she had errands to run. I spend some times reconnecting, work on finishing up dinner and try to fit in bringing in all the laundry. (I have to get it in before the dew falls which is early near our wood!)

6:00 - This is dinnertime. Except when we have company or it is a holiday (which we celebrate a lot of) or it is a family dinner night, we all eat at our computers. This is definitely down time for us! I take a break from work and do personal research or personal writing or just play a game. I also chat with Diana through messenger. We like to connect that way.

7:00 - Time to clean up after dinner. This evening period is my most hectic time of the day. I am definitely not a night person, and I usually feel pretty tired. I also fall of track and over multitask here. I do more work writing if I did not meet my goals for the day. I pack Diana's lunch. I prep coffee for the morning. Sometimes I have extra household chores or laundry to deal with. Often, the kids want to talk to me about various things. Diana likes to spend work evenings on her computer, but I bounce things off her when necessary and try to ask for support when I need it.

9:15 - This is when I like to get ready for bed. In reality, it often doesn't happen until 10:15 or later. I brush my teeth and hair and read in bed for awhile before I go to sleep.

Tuesday, April 29, 2014

Polyamory Manifesto

The time has come to make another personal polyamory manifesto. I am polyamorous, which I define to mean that I do not limit those my lovers love and I expect the same in return. I personally am polyamorous because I have found that monogamy unnecessarily breaks down intimacy in a relationship and easily sets up situations that can lead to distrust. I realize that some forms of polyamory do the same thing and that many monogamous people would disagree with my conclusions. I am fine with that because my relationship patterns only need to be successful to me and those I am involved with.

Diana is my partner in life, the one who I count on to listen to me until she sees me no matter how difficult it becomes. She is the one who I make plans for the future with, those types of plans that involve growing old together. She is the one I continuously work to see, even as she continually evolves, even when it is not easy for me. We do not have rules about other loves, but Diana sees that I need to know everything, and I am careful with her in all things because I know her personal vulnerabilities. To most people, Diana and I would appear to be the typical lesbian couple, living our life with our kids and our jobs and our hobbies, etc., and basically we are!

But we date other people on occasion. Usually together, sometimes apart. We have a boyfriend who has been a close part of our lives for nearly four years. Our relationship with him is unconventional, but I feel closer to him as time progresses, and I cannot easily imagine him not being close to me, even if he were to move far away, or have a primary partner who he lived with and was dedicated to creating a future with on a deep level. And yes, we still both look for more.

Part of my polyamory pathway involves the pursuit of intimate relationships. I do not define intimate in a physical sexual way (although I am fine with that type of intimacy!) I define intimate as knowing who someone is and forming a close connection with that person. I find that polyamory makes it easy to have these types of relationships for me. I don't have to draw lines between what is OK and what is not OK. I can relax and be safe. I have always had trouble with social conventions, and polyamory makes it easy to base relationships on things that are truly important to me and the one I am with.

Diana has a need for friendship and closeness too. Diana is one of those people who seems to be born for polyamory. When she first heard of the philosophy, her response was a hearty yes. It can be hard to move beyond the monogamous paradigm, but when you get it, and it feels right, it can be a wonderful thing for personal growth, and the intentional families formed are often stronger than those that simply follow the expected path.

Monday, April 28, 2014

Life Moves On

Today, I am going to Joseph's house in the afternoon, and I am a wee bit worried because it will be hectic. Diana will be taking me during her lunch break which is nothing we have done before. Then she will take Es back to Fulton where she will look for a job. I hope she finds something.

Then I think we will have dinner with Joseph. I am not completely sure. Diana at least will be coming to get me!

Later this week, we are going out on Thursday & Friday I think. It makes me worry about falling behind in my job. Diana assures me that all will be well, and I am sure it will.

This year is to be the last We Shine Conference. I am glad that our family is going, but I am not completely sad that it is ending. Although it is a wonderful family time for us, I do want to move on to something that fits better for me for my free time. Especially now that Diana and I am working, and free time is at a premium.

I like to see and do new things, but I easily get connected to places. Diana is the same way. The places are almost more important to us than the people. We rapidly associate places with feelings. This makes it hard for us to choose to go to new places. I look forward to the little extra push to do just that. I also am grateful for the existence of easy communication and keeping in touch through the internet, which makes it much easier to say good-bye to a regular chance to connect to people in the short term.

Sunday, April 27, 2014

100 Push-up Challenge

Today, I started the 100 push-ups challenge. This is something that I have wanted to do for a long time. After reading the specifics, awhile back, I realized that someone at my fitness level could not actually develop the capabilities to do 100 good form push-ups in 100 days, but I think the modified version of the program will allow me to do that in 300 days, less than a year. So I am going to go for it!

Friday, April 25, 2014

Super Fun Friday

Today Diana proclaimed it "Super Fun Friday." (I think it is a thing they do at her day care center.)

I shall try to have super fun as I complete my super long list of things to do.

At the moment, I am enjoying some hot coffee and some yogurt with granola.

Happy Friday everyone!

Tuesday, April 22, 2014


Today I was mildly distraught in the morning. Mornings are when my mind is most awake, and I can really think well. It is also when I see problems and exert myself in finding answers.

The rest of today was spent working. I write so many articles each day I think that I might truly be reaching the point where I know everything! It is too bad the work is so draining. I have had some opportunities that I have passed up recently because I knew they were the kind of jobs that turned me into a zombie. It is always hard learning a new type of job. Some flow more quickly than others. Those are my favorite. I always prefer content over copy too.

Family life is family life. I am grateful for it, but sometimes, I just want a few days of total aloneness.

I am enjoying spring. We do not yet have one spring flower although I see daffodil, grape hyacinth and tulip shoots. We have had some very nice weather with lots of sun and just the right amount of rain.

Sunday, April 20, 2014

Easter Sunday

Jesus Christ is risen today! Alleluia!

And yet, I am still sweating the small stuff because it hasn't felt like small stuff. I have been worn down lately and emotionally vulnerable. Resilience has never been one of my strong points. It is rather embarrassing 'cause I preach resilience and positivity, but there are those times when I just don't want another challenge.

Today's challenges included breaking the coffee pot and getting some cuts on my hand from it and finding the picnic ham I had purchased was just slightly too big for my crockpot. The good things were that Diana put bandaids on me and took me to get a new coffee maker, I remembered that ours had a short anyways, and I was able to cut the ham and fit it into the crockpot.

I am tired from it all though! (Well, hiding 201 eggs in the briars might have something to do with it.

In better news, money is good enough, and we keep getting financial blessings. I had good connecting time with Joseph yesterday. I am joyfully hopeful about the future.

The kids are outside searching for those last 14 eggs. They are good!