Thursday, May 22, 2014

Cycling

At 10:30 or 11:00 or noon, acceptance doesn't feel too hard. I sit still and work on it like a kind of meditation. I breathe in and out and whisper "Let is be." By 3 p.m. I feel joy, and I anticipate things being wonderful and great. By 7 or 8 or certainly 9 p.m. I am scared and anxious. In the morning, after the first 15 to 30 minutes, sadness washes over me, and I want so much.

I have three sides, and one is placid and accepting. Another is anxious, scared and hiding. The last is striving, determined, needy and wishing for power & intensity; fun & spontaneity is a plus.

How does one reconcile the various parts of themselves? I like to think there is a place and a time for all. Right now, my determined, needing, craving intensity part is screaming and making me sad far too often. Especially in the morning, after the 15 minutes of newness and hope wears off.

No comments:

Post a Comment