Sunday, December 28, 2014

Random Things That Make Me Happy

For some odd reason, I am feeling pulled to make New Year's Resolutions or goals or some such thing. That really isn't like me, especially not lately.

Lately, I have been more of a go-with-the-flow, live-in-the-moment sort of person.

I thought I would make a list of things that make me happy.

1. Being outside

2. Feeling competent at pretty much anything

3. Feeling close to someone

4. Laughing

5. Acquiring new information

6. Learning how to do new things

7. Organizing or cleaning something

8. Writing or saying something beautiful

9. Floating in the water where I cannot touch the bottom

10. Being a part of a large crowd

11. Being alone in an uncluttered place

12. Random, unexpected intensity

That is all that I can think of for now!

Monday, December 15, 2014

Parenting Advice

I have fallen off blogmas and will probably not go back.

In other news, I read so many blogs from parents of young children who seem to worry about the wrong things so I feel called to put out some parenting advice of my own.

These words are for parents with children of all ages. Always strive to be kind; modeling kindness goes a long way toward growing kind human beings. Encourage your kids to be brave. Do not force them, and remember that braveness looks different in different people. You can never know exactly what your child is thinking or feeling.

Perhaps most importantly, put nothing ahead of the relationship. When something else becomes more important, your child will know, and quickly lose respect and connection with you.

Thursday, December 11, 2014

Blogmas Day 11: Christmas Food, What Is on the Menu

I don't know? I do not think was have strong traditions about specific Christmas foods in my family!

We have a Christmas party of sorts every year, but the furthest I've gotten on planning the menu at this moment is that we will have buttery brie and crackers, and a dark chocolate salted caramel Oreo pie.

About the rest, we shall see!

Wednesday, December 10, 2014

Blogmas Day 10: Show Us Your Cookies, or Recipes

I have a lot of recipes that I use for Christmas cookies, but this is my favorite:

Gingerbread Cookies
3/4 cup butter
1 cup sugar
1 egg
1 tablespoon water
1/4 cup molasses
2 1/4 cups whole wheat flour
2 teaspoons ginger
1 teaspoon baking soda
3/4 teaspoon cinnamon
1/2 teaspoon cloves
2 tablespoons sugar

Mix the butter and sugar with an electric mixer, Beat in the egg, water and molasses. Stir in the dry ingredients except for the 2 tablespoons of sugar.  Roll the dough into walnut size balls. Roll each ball in the reserved sugar, and place them 2 inches apart on a baking sheet. Bake at 350 F for 9 to 10 minutes.

This is a close second that just smells like Christmas Eve to me:

Christmas Casserole Cookies
2 eggs
1 cup sugar
1 cup chopped walnuts
1 cup chopped dates
1 cup coconut
1 teaspoon vanilla
1/4 teaspoon almond extract
1/4 cup sugar

Beat the eggs with an electric mixer. Beat in the sugar. Stir in the dates, walnuts, coconut, vanilla and almond extract. Place in a 2-quart casserole dish, and bake at 350 F for 30 minutes. Remove from the oven, and immediately beat with a wooden spoon. Let the mixture sit until it is cool enough to handle, and then form into balls and roll them in the reserved sugar.

Tuesday, December 9, 2014

Blogmas Days 7, 8 & 9!

Oops! I have been busy with work and missed a few days.

Day 7
Handmade Christmas: Your Favorites to Give or Get
I love to get hand-knit mittens. I have never had a pair of mittens from the store that was quite right!
I am not much of a homemade gift giver. I don't really enjoy making things. I have given photo books before and baked goods, but that is about it.

Day 8
What Is on Your Wish List This Year?
I want a calendar with big squares, but I think someone has already taken care of that need. I would love gift cards to get warm clothing. I think I spent my entire yearly clothing budget on summer stuff this year. I always like treats and games to play with the family.

Day 9
Winter Items You Can't Live Without
Snow shovels!!! We go through so many snow shovels. Hot chocolate and flavored coffees. Music. Warm soups and stews! Salt for the steps. Mittens.

Saturday, December 6, 2014

Blogmas Day 6: When Do You Open Presents

We open presents on Christmas morning! Some years we open them right away, and others we wait until after breakfast. Both work well for us. When I was growing up, we were morning openers. My dad was responsible for maintaining the temperature in the factory he worked in so some years we had to wait until he went in and came home (and the place was probably a 30 minute drive away.) It wasn't really a long wait, but when you are little, those presents are very enticing. I remember some years my mom let us open one while he was gone, and one year we got up really early and did it, but I think all of use agreed that that didn't really work.

My favorite part of opening presents is doing it one at a time. We get to enjoy our own gifts and others' vicariously. We didn't do that when we were little, but after we adopted the tradition, I knew I would never go back!

Friday, December 5, 2014

Blogmas Day 5: Favorite Christmas Food

I enjoy Christmas cookies, as long as they're good Christmas cookies! I love gingerbread with whipped cream and nearly anything with peppermint. Roast turkey and roast pork are not completely Christmas traditions around here, but they are both delicious as is homemade cranberry sauce.

I like good food, and I am a good cook, but I am not really a foodie. That may be why this topic is difficult for me!

Thursday, December 4, 2014

Blogmas Day 4: Favorite Christmas Music

I love Christmas music. I love carols. I love modern Christmas songs that make me laugh. I love old sentimental favorites.

My favorite carols are "O Little Town of Bethlehem" and "It Came upon a Midnight Clear." Both evoke the scene and the feeling of that first Christmas night so long ago. My family favorite is "Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays." 'N Sync started this one, and it fast become our family's favorite. It never feels like the Christmas season has really arrived until we have all listened to this, and singing it together unaccompanied is a Christmas Eve tradition. My favorite from this century are a few of the holiday songs put out by The Killers, particularly "Don't Shoot Me Santa" and "Boots." This year's "Joel,  the Lump of Coal" came out two days ago and combines The Killers ingenious mixture of humor and sentimentality to make me cry.

Wednesday, December 3, 2014

Blogmas Day 3: Favorite Christmas Movies

My favorite Christmas movie is "You've Got Mail." It is a soft and sweet romantic comedy, and it plays on the early computer culture that I grew middle-aged with. I like that everything doesn't work out perfect, but it does work out good enough.

My favorite Christmas TV special is "Santa Claus is Comin' to Town." I always enjoyed it the most as a kid. I loved they way they incorporated explanations for so many holiday stories. I love that some of my children really like it too, and we watch it most years. (It is on ABC next Tuesday!) "How the Grinch Stole Christmas!" is a close second favorite.

Tuesday, December 2, 2014

Blogmas Day 2: What Christmas Means to Me

I love Christmas! I love the whole season. I love the decorations and the family togetherness and even the shopping and commercialism. I love thinking about the baby Jesus being born in a stable with his mom loving him so much, representing love and hope and peace.

What does Christmas mean to me? To me Christmas is about finding that peace inside myself to move me through the dark times. To me Christmas is seeing divinity in the little things. To me Christmas is family togetherness, and that most definitely includes intentional family. To me Christmas is hope and the rebirth of light that gives me a fresh start after the darkest night.

Monday, December 1, 2014

The First Day of Blogmas: My Favorite Christmas Tradition

On the first day of Blogmas, my true love gave to me a giant Christmas tree.

My favorite Christmas tradition is to turn off ALL the lights in the house  when we have finished decorating the tree. Then we all sing Oh Christmas Tree. Close second is when I turn off the lights every night and gaze at the tree. A close third is our annual Christmas gathering. It use to be on Christmas Eve with lots of family and a few friends. Now it is whenever we can manage it and with very few guests (maybe one some years) but I still love creating the feast and then resting with my family in the peace of the season.

Monday, November 10, 2014

Thoughts

Today was a busy day, but I do not feel like I did enough. I often feel like I do not have enough time to complete those things that are necessary to do.

Others typically respond, "Obviously, you're wrong."

My deep thought is, "It is possible that I am right."

Thursday, October 16, 2014

Spicy Chipotle Chicken Chili

This was our dinner tonight! Delicious!

Spicy Chipotle Chicken Chili

2 tablespoons canola oil
2 boneless, skinless chicken breasts, trimmed & cut into small pieces
1 large onion, coarsely chopped
1 teaspoon garlic powder
1 teaspoon seasoned salt
1 green pepper, finely diced
1 24 ounce jar medium salsa
1 15.5 ounce can black beans, drained & rinsed
2 6.5 ounce cans mushrooms stems & pieces with liquid
1 tablespoon chili powder
1 teaspoon ground chipotle

Heat the canola oil in a pot or pan large enough to hold the chili. Add the chicken, onion, garlic powder & seasoned salt, and cook over medium heat stirring frequently until the chicken is done.

Add the rest of the ingredients, and stir well. Bring to a boil over medium heat. Reduce heat to low, and cook for 20 to 30 minutes stirring occasionally. Serve topped with shredded mild cheddar cheese. Makes 6 servings.

Friday, September 26, 2014

Thoughts on Blogging

I haven't been seriously blogging for so many years, but I think about it a lot. I have a lot to say.

I write for work now. I write a lot. Most of the writing and supporting research is not fun for me in spite of the fact that I like to write and research a lot.

Sometimes I think about blogging more transparently about my life like I did in the past. Probably fear stops me. Sometimes fear is a good thing. On the other hand, I might just be busy and lazy.

Sometimes I think about blogging about my passions with hopes of changing the world or just positively influencing a few individual souls. That would be serious, time-consuming writing. It would involve entries coming to logical conclusions. That is not one of my strong points, but it might be a nice challenge. (On the other hand, I sometimes think about having a blog where absolutely none of the entries have any sense of conclusion. That is a type of writing I excel at, and I do think it has a place. It leads people to draw their own conclusions. I like to spark thoughtfulness.)

My favorite type of blog to read is the chatty blog about interesting and yet normal peoples' lives with hints of deepness and dollops of humor that keep pulling me back. The best blogs happen often and share a portion of reality even if they stop at total transparency.

I would also like a custom URL. I think real bloggers have designated websites. At the same time, I know that that is just an excuse to not move forward with what I already have.

Sunday, July 13, 2014

I try to embrace humanity with love. Sometimes it is hard for me. Mostly the difficulties arise from my own anxiety and insecurities. A funny thing is that I have always had a distance and anxiety towards other human beings, but at the same time I have a strong desire to create intimate connections with others. It is one of my life callings. When I succeed in forming those connections, wonderful things happen. They take time and energy, but they are worth the effort.

On the other hand, sometimes it is hard to make the choice to move towards connection. I am a true introvert, and interacting with most people is very draining to me. Lots of times, I think that I would rather read a book or go for a long walk than spend time interacting with others. I have been making progress towards making the connection choice more often this year. The key is making more conscious decisions instead of quick reactions in the moment.

Wednesday, May 28, 2014

Ramblings on depression, personal power, connections and fear...

My depression cycle is not as strong as it was, but I am still crying a few tears most mornings. I am lonely. When I work as many hours as I am now, I find myself disconnected from Diana very quickly. I am trying hard not to be, but she is tired after work and needs lots of time alone to decompress and do things that are important to her. She tries to draw me in with TV shows, but mostly I just want words and touch. I wish we could go away a bit and just be together.

Also, when I work so many hours, so many days a week, I start to feel that there is nothing to look forward to. I know this isn't exactly true, but not only do I disconnect from people, I disconnect from plans and events. To a certain extent I disconnect from any emotions. That is what keeps me trekking and doing things that to many would seem nearly impossible.

This time, I am trying to do it right. We are at a place where I need to give work a huge chunk of my time, but I am trying (perhaps a bit desperately) to stay connected to people and events and even things that matter to me. It is hard because when I am disconnected from Diana, we have more trouble making plans together and we are a together kind of couple. I am struggling hard to keep pushing on this front too.

At the age of 47, I am feeling a need to stretch my personal power. To ask for the things that I need until I get them. Not to be greedy, to also give to others the way I want to and know that they need me to even when it isn't easy for them to receive. We have more money, and we have reliable transportation. There is space in our lives for some "mores" even if time is tight.

The hardest thing about having more money is prioritizing. I find if I am working hard at the money earning thing, I am not willing to live as if I am super poor. This requires a lot more decision making than when you know every penny is going to pay the rent!

The hardest thing about having less time is prioritizing. When you have a lot of time, you say yes a lot. I still want to say yes because I am eager for people and experiences. I feel like my life is ticking away and saying no gives me less when I want more. At the same time, there are always going to be a few no's. For money and time.

Lots of things I want to write about but that work thing is calling...and have I mentioned the laundry...

Thursday, May 22, 2014

Cycling

At 10:30 or 11:00 or noon, acceptance doesn't feel too hard. I sit still and work on it like a kind of meditation. I breathe in and out and whisper "Let is be." By 3 p.m. I feel joy, and I anticipate things being wonderful and great. By 7 or 8 or certainly 9 p.m. I am scared and anxious. In the morning, after the first 15 to 30 minutes, sadness washes over me, and I want so much.

I have three sides, and one is placid and accepting. Another is anxious, scared and hiding. The last is striving, determined, needy and wishing for power & intensity; fun & spontaneity is a plus.

How does one reconcile the various parts of themselves? I like to think there is a place and a time for all. Right now, my determined, needing, craving intensity part is screaming and making me sad far too often. Especially in the morning, after the 15 minutes of newness and hope wears off.

Tuesday, May 6, 2014

Random Rambling Vague Life Update

This is not going to be a week with a lot of time for blogging.

I am working a lot. My house is starting to get messy. I am not quite keeping up with the laundry. We need the money right now though so I am going to plow through towards my goals.

I have spring fever big time, and especially on sunny days, I only want to have fun. Unfortunately, I am one of those persons who don't really know how to have fun. I am trying to learn by relaxing just a little bit and trying to figure out how to assert my needs without running over anyone else's. All that might just require a little more social skills and common sense than I was born with, but I can give it a shot!

Esme started a job at McDonalds yesterday. It went well. She needs a bike soon though because otherwise she will spend way too much time waiting for Diana. Toni is Toni. He is jumping into the yard work with a fierce determination. We are going to kill some of the poison ivy this year. I want to be able to hang my laundry outside all summer without fear of contamination. Also, I want the grandkids to be able to play outside more freely when they visit.

Friday, May 2, 2014

Life Update

Whee! This has been a much busier week than I anticipated, and as I near the end of it, I realize that I have not earned as much money as I'd have liked, especially after a few extra expenses last week! BUT I have a new bonus opportunity next week. It will be challenging, but I think I will go for it.

In other news, I am fairly happy at the moment. I can't be sure how long it will last, but I am glad about it for now. I am getting wiser even as I think my intelligence may be dwindling. Right now, I am focusing on learning how to take care of myself. It is more challenging than any other thing that I have ever done before.

Thursday, May 1, 2014

A Glimpse at the Inner Workings of My Mind

Yesterday Diana said to me, "Did you just interject a completely unrelated question into the middle of a statement you were making to me?" (Those might not be her precise words.)

And I replied, "Yes."

For that is how my brain works. It just goes off in every which direction, and I must verbally state or otherwise express those thoughts or they might be gone for awhile (perhaps forever).

Wednesday, April 30, 2014

A Day in the Life

This isn't one of those regular day-in-the-life posts where I post what I do as it is happening or after the fact. I have had some questions about what I do with my time, especially since I work from home and have a plethora of teens and young adults at home, and I thought I'd share my basic schedule.

Typically, days on which Diana goes to work at the daycare center look very similar. Here is my schedule with a few interjections about the kids. They all have their own complicated schedules so I won't tell everything that they do, only the things that I regularly notice or am part of.

6:15 - I get up at 6:15. Sometimes I awake earlier, at around 5:45, but I usually lounge in bed until 6:15. Then, I get up and start getting things ready for Diana to go to work. I pull her lunch and tea out of the fridge, start the coffee pot and make sure the path to the bathroom is clear.

6:30 - At 6:30, I wake Diana and move her along into the shower. (She is not a morning person.) While she showers, I pack her bag and make her a cup of hot tea or coffee.

6:45 - Next, I chat with Diana while she gets ready for the day. In the winter, I clear off the car and scrape ice if necessary. Sometimes, I need to shovel. On bad days, I wake up Toni to help!

7:15 - I kiss Diana good-bye and start on my own morning routine. I shower, put on lotion, get dressed and do my hair.

7:45 - I make myself a cup of coffee and some breakfast. Usually I have yogurt or oatmeal or a breakfast bar. Once in awhile, I make eggs. Then I sit and eat at my computer. I run quickly through my email, take a glance at Facebook and spend a few moments visiting some other sites. This is a real quick process to me because I don't like to spend a lot of time on any of that.

8:30 - At 8:30, I start the laundry and from then on this entire schedule should be punctuated with times when I am dealing with laundry. On good days, I hang my laundry outside, which takes awhile. On bad weather days, I hang it inside. I won't bore you with adding laundry remarks much after this point. After laundry, I take care of any necessary early dinner prep like thawing things or putting things in the crockpot. Sometimes I start a loaf of bread. Then I wash my breakfast dishes. Josie is up by this time, and we chat a little bit. If the kitchen is messy in any way, I clean it. (The kids sometimes use the kitchen at night.)

9:00 - I am back at my computer. I might send a quick email to Diana or otherwise message her even though she won't get it 'til later. I find things like that keep us connected and help me retain my sanity. Sometimes I message with Joseph for a few moments. Then I get to work writing. I write straight through until around 10:30 when I start feeling zombie-ish and sore.

10:30 - At 10:30, Toni has been up for about an hour, and while I walk around stretching my creaky muscles, I chat with him. I also get myself a snack and a second cup of coffee. I like to have nuts. I try to sit in the chair by the window while I eat my snack or outside if the weather is nice. (Yes, laundry is dealt with during this time too!)

11:00 - Back to work! I write more at my computer until 1:00. This is probably my most productive work period of the day. By 1:00, I am very hungry!

1:00 - Josie turns on The Chew, and I get myself some lunch while chatting with Esme and Lia. I have leftovers or deli meat rolled around greens or a sandwich. I like to drink diet soda with my lunch. I consider diet soda an integral part of my diet. OK, not really, but in my case, it does help me feel full and eat right. I take a long lunch and enjoy my kids' company.

2:00 - I take a very brief 10 minutes walk, and then I wash dishes and tidy the kitchen again very quickly!

2:15 - Back to work! Lots more writing to do. Right now I do about 20 pieces a day.

3:30 - Time to stretch and snack again. I also do my daily housework. I clean one specific area each day. If I miss it, it might have to wait until the next week so I take it fairly seriously. I also have the kids help with chores at this time.

4:00 - Yet more work. Josie does her math now, and there is often swearing involved. I write, taking time off to help her when necessary!

5:00 - YAY! Diana is usually pulling in the driveway after work unless she had errands to run. I spend some times reconnecting, work on finishing up dinner and try to fit in bringing in all the laundry. (I have to get it in before the dew falls which is early near our wood!)

6:00 - This is dinnertime. Except when we have company or it is a holiday (which we celebrate a lot of) or it is a family dinner night, we all eat at our computers. This is definitely down time for us! I take a break from work and do personal research or personal writing or just play a game. I also chat with Diana through messenger. We like to connect that way.

7:00 - Time to clean up after dinner. This evening period is my most hectic time of the day. I am definitely not a night person, and I usually feel pretty tired. I also fall of track and over multitask here. I do more work writing if I did not meet my goals for the day. I pack Diana's lunch. I prep coffee for the morning. Sometimes I have extra household chores or laundry to deal with. Often, the kids want to talk to me about various things. Diana likes to spend work evenings on her computer, but I bounce things off her when necessary and try to ask for support when I need it.

9:15 - This is when I like to get ready for bed. In reality, it often doesn't happen until 10:15 or later. I brush my teeth and hair and read in bed for awhile before I go to sleep.

Tuesday, April 29, 2014

Polyamory Manifesto

The time has come to make another personal polyamory manifesto. I am polyamorous, which I define to mean that I do not limit those my lovers love and I expect the same in return. I personally am polyamorous because I have found that monogamy unnecessarily breaks down intimacy in a relationship and easily sets up situations that can lead to distrust. I realize that some forms of polyamory do the same thing and that many monogamous people would disagree with my conclusions. I am fine with that because my relationship patterns only need to be successful to me and those I am involved with.

Diana is my partner in life, the one who I count on to listen to me until she sees me no matter how difficult it becomes. She is the one who I make plans for the future with, those types of plans that involve growing old together. She is the one I continuously work to see, even as she continually evolves, even when it is not easy for me. We do not have rules about other loves, but Diana sees that I need to know everything, and I am careful with her in all things because I know her personal vulnerabilities. To most people, Diana and I would appear to be the typical lesbian couple, living our life with our kids and our jobs and our hobbies, etc., and basically we are!

But we date other people on occasion. Usually together, sometimes apart. We have a boyfriend who has been a close part of our lives for nearly four years. Our relationship with him is unconventional, but I feel closer to him as time progresses, and I cannot easily imagine him not being close to me, even if he were to move far away, or have a primary partner who he lived with and was dedicated to creating a future with on a deep level. And yes, we still both look for more.

Part of my polyamory pathway involves the pursuit of intimate relationships. I do not define intimate in a physical sexual way (although I am fine with that type of intimacy!) I define intimate as knowing who someone is and forming a close connection with that person. I find that polyamory makes it easy to have these types of relationships for me. I don't have to draw lines between what is OK and what is not OK. I can relax and be safe. I have always had trouble with social conventions, and polyamory makes it easy to base relationships on things that are truly important to me and the one I am with.

Diana has a need for friendship and closeness too. Diana is one of those people who seems to be born for polyamory. When she first heard of the philosophy, her response was a hearty yes. It can be hard to move beyond the monogamous paradigm, but when you get it, and it feels right, it can be a wonderful thing for personal growth, and the intentional families formed are often stronger than those that simply follow the expected path.

Monday, April 28, 2014

Life Moves On

Today, I am going to Joseph's house in the afternoon, and I am a wee bit worried because it will be hectic. Diana will be taking me during her lunch break which is nothing we have done before. Then she will take Es back to Fulton where she will look for a job. I hope she finds something.

Then I think we will have dinner with Joseph. I am not completely sure. Diana at least will be coming to get me!

Later this week, we are going out on Thursday & Friday I think. It makes me worry about falling behind in my job. Diana assures me that all will be well, and I am sure it will.

This year is to be the last We Shine Conference. I am glad that our family is going, but I am not completely sad that it is ending. Although it is a wonderful family time for us, I do want to move on to something that fits better for me for my free time. Especially now that Diana and I am working, and free time is at a premium.

I like to see and do new things, but I easily get connected to places. Diana is the same way. The places are almost more important to us than the people. We rapidly associate places with feelings. This makes it hard for us to choose to go to new places. I look forward to the little extra push to do just that. I also am grateful for the existence of easy communication and keeping in touch through the internet, which makes it much easier to say good-bye to a regular chance to connect to people in the short term.

Sunday, April 27, 2014

100 Push-up Challenge

Today, I started the 100 push-ups challenge. This is something that I have wanted to do for a long time. After reading the specifics, awhile back, I realized that someone at my fitness level could not actually develop the capabilities to do 100 good form push-ups in 100 days, but I think the modified version of the program will allow me to do that in 300 days, less than a year. So I am going to go for it!

Friday, April 25, 2014

Super Fun Friday

Today Diana proclaimed it "Super Fun Friday." (I think it is a thing they do at her day care center.)

I shall try to have super fun as I complete my super long list of things to do.

At the moment, I am enjoying some hot coffee and some yogurt with granola.

Happy Friday everyone!

Tuesday, April 22, 2014

Life

Today I was mildly distraught in the morning. Mornings are when my mind is most awake, and I can really think well. It is also when I see problems and exert myself in finding answers.

The rest of today was spent working. I write so many articles each day I think that I might truly be reaching the point where I know everything! It is too bad the work is so draining. I have had some opportunities that I have passed up recently because I knew they were the kind of jobs that turned me into a zombie. It is always hard learning a new type of job. Some flow more quickly than others. Those are my favorite. I always prefer content over copy too.

Family life is family life. I am grateful for it, but sometimes, I just want a few days of total aloneness.

I am enjoying spring. We do not yet have one spring flower although I see daffodil, grape hyacinth and tulip shoots. We have had some very nice weather with lots of sun and just the right amount of rain.

Sunday, April 20, 2014

Easter Sunday

Jesus Christ is risen today! Alleluia!

And yet, I am still sweating the small stuff because it hasn't felt like small stuff. I have been worn down lately and emotionally vulnerable. Resilience has never been one of my strong points. It is rather embarrassing 'cause I preach resilience and positivity, but there are those times when I just don't want another challenge.

Today's challenges included breaking the coffee pot and getting some cuts on my hand from it and finding the picnic ham I had purchased was just slightly too big for my crockpot. The good things were that Diana put bandaids on me and took me to get a new coffee maker, I remembered that ours had a short anyways, and I was able to cut the ham and fit it into the crockpot.

I am tired from it all though! (Well, hiding 201 eggs in the briars might have something to do with it.

In better news, money is good enough, and we keep getting financial blessings. I had good connecting time with Joseph yesterday. I am joyfully hopeful about the future.

The kids are outside searching for those last 14 eggs. They are good!

Sunday, January 12, 2014

Up-front

When I am alone is the only time that I am able to feel my emotions untainted. That makes alone time very important to me regardless of what my emotions are. Nothing wrong with being with other people, but sometimes, I just want to know what I am feeling, and to let it go and not be holding onto it anymore. Sometimes in the right circumstances I can achieve the same experience in a crowd, but when I am at home with my family, it is nearly impossible. Their emotions are so important to me, and I am at this point in my life incapable of not taking them on.

This is my truth.