I struggle with eating meat.
I especially struggle with eating non-humanely produced meat.
Sometimes, I struggle with eating period. I often think that eating mindfully is impossible for me. Maybe I need to start at the beginning. I often feel called to do that. To start eating mindfully. To not eat until I figure out something I can eat mindfully, and then to add things until I am OK.
On the other hand, I have addictive, compulsive, rule-following tendencies which lead to disordered eating very rapidly. But if I was eating mindfully, could that possibly occur?
I often wonder if mindfulness is easier for others. To me, it is always work. Not the kind of joyful work that I pursue relentlessly either. The kind of work that wears me down. I see it though. I see this mindful path. I see that it is really the foundation of all of the worlds renowned religions and many of the most well developed philosophies, and when I practice, I do experience its benefits.
Unfortunately, I think that good things are not always as easy as many would like us to believe. (How is that for a vague statement?)
I heard this today: Everything in moderation, including moderation. I am not sure who said it first, but I like it. I am not a fan of moderation. (That is my unschooling brain. Moderation isn't inherently better than non-moderation.) But that quote drives it home better. Moderation is an absence or control of excesses or extremes. That sounds good to me, as long as that is in moderation too. There are times which call for excesses or extremes. Who doesn't love the occasional moments full of excessive laughter or joy?
Most people have things they do that ignite them. They may change over time, but there is often a theme. I have some. I am ignited when I learn foreign languages. I have trouble stopping. I want to go, go, go. It is pure bliss to me no matter how many frustrations present themselves. I also am ignited by research. I use to love old fashioned research at the library plowing through books. Access to a huge number of research libraries was the absolute best part of attending Syracuse University to me. Now, I have access to innumerable research journals through the libraries of which I am a member online. It is so easy for me to fall into research mode wanting to know more and more and more.
I also enjoy more personal research. You need a lost person found? I can do it. I can do it fast. I can do it when you have been trying for 5 years. (Yes, this has happened to me over and over and over again.) I have a kind of logic coupled with just the right amount of intuition to put together information and follow leads. To know which words are necessary in a search. To know which search tools to use. When I am in this flow, I don't want to stop. Even if I never knew this person I am looking for because I am researching for someone else, even if I am researching a topic that is not of personal interest to me, my brain steps in and starts cataloging and organizing the knowledge and desperately wants to fill in any gaps.
Those are probably not the things that grip you, but I bet something does.
Those passions should probably be pursued without moderation from time to time.
I got a little off track there!
I am uncomfortable with meat, especially non-humanely produced meat, but I am not sure where to go with that discomfort. We have somewhat reduced our intake of non-humanely produced meat. We do occasionally when the budget allows support humanely produced meat. I think I want to work further in those directions. That was the real point of this post.