Diana sent me a link to this rather humorous and a bit cynical article about all those happiness type lists you find on the internet.
I have trouble with happiness myself.
I have described myself as a rather bitter optimistic person. I do feel like I have drawn the short straw a lot in life, and even when that short straw is clearly the result of my own choices, I do feel that I always make the best choices I am capable of in any given moment; therefore, if I am biologically or environmentally programmed to make bad choices, I obviously have drawn the short straw on those fronts too! And yes, you can probably tell from my whining that I tend to have trouble seeing any part of life as involving much real free will.
But I am the eternal optimist! I can fight with a level of determination you would not think possible from a short, fat middle-aged woman whose mind and senses often seem to be ebbing!
When I am not fighting ('cause really I hate fighting), I am going with the flow, working so hard on mindfulness, laughing in the face of problems and living to my fullest in the face of all the rocks and sticks strewn through the current. I am one of the first to notice the beauty amid the chaos. I call others out on their negative thoughts and say, "Hey! Stop and smell the roses! Glory in the sunrise! See the beauty in those things that others scorn!"
I solve problems left and right but still find struggle nearly every single day. I am the one who figures out how and understands why. In the end, I never think it is enough. Of course, it is never really the end.
I like happiness. Who doesn't? I have seen the results of a lot of research about happiness though, and they make sense to me. It seems people are born with an innate level of happiness, and they rarely stray from it. Resilience is tied to happiness also. I consider myself not resilient, but when I did deeper, I suppose I do OK after the initial shock of a huge unexpected change or problem. Smart people are less happy overall than less intelligent people. Yeah, then there is that.
Life often seems pointless to me. Then you can embrace a spiritual system to give your life meaning while at the same time realizing that you will never really know much of anything. As I have aged, I have had a growing longing to do something to make a difference in the world. I feel like I have gifts that I am meant to share on a broader plain. At the same time, the daily grind wears me down, and I am not sure of even what baby steps might lead me in the direction of sharing my gifts with more of the world.
Yet I choose to charge on! Following a philosophy of positivity, passion and play! For those are things I understand. Negativity never seems to lead to growth or joy. Passion ignites me when I am able to find it. Play is the foundation of those moments when life seems worth living and when coupled with curiosity, the route to all new discoveries.
Yeah, rambling post is rambling.